Blog for Self Improvement & Personality Development

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along”. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

One thing common to all great communicators is that when they speak, everybody listens. However, communicating to people is one of the greatest fears for most of the human beings, and especially when it comes to public speaking. Most people dread public speaking more than death! Do you ever wonder why you don’t seem to get listened to by others even though you too have many ideas to share? Then read on, this article is just for you.

Confident communication however, is more than what you speak. It takes into account your body language as well.

What’s inside the mind of a Successful Communicator?

Confident communicators aren’t a know all

Of course, you need to have good knowledge about the subject you are talking about, but what actually matters is not what you say, but how you say it. Successful people don’t do different things, they do things differently. The first step is to believe in what you say. You must be fully convinced in the idea and only then will there be conviction in the tone of your voice. Your voice now is equipped with the power to hold people’s attention. Once you have conviction in your voice, and what you speak is useful for the other people and it actually helps them or gives some credible information, you get appreciation. This certainly peps up your self-confidence!

Confident communicators don’t let people make them nervous

Most people suffer from fearing catastrophes that never happen. Most people tend to make a very high imaginary impression of other people in their minds.

So much so that their mind starts believing that other people are perfect. This creates an unfair comparison between their own personality and the imaginary personality of other people that they create. This thinking breeds a fear of meeting and talking to other people. It lowers their confidence and they fear what it will be to meet and talk to these “perfect” people. However, in real life nobody is perfect and you must realize this. Everybody has their own set of faults and weaknesses. It’s important for you to realize that every human being is essentially imperfect. This will give you greater confidence to go out and face people.

Take it or leave it. You snooze, you lose

Ideally you must be the best of your moods and carry a pleasant demeanor when you go out and meet people. However, it might not always be possible and it may so happen that you are not fully prepared to communicate, or you are a little tense over some other matter. A confident communicator, though, develops an ability to keep control of his emotions. This quality helps the communicator to keep control of the situation. You may still not be in a good mood but you must make sure that you keep indecisiveness at bay. Your indecision will fritter away your focus and energy and you fail to make any impact. If you decide to communicate. Be yourself, have faith in yourself and go ahead.

Mind your body language

Your gesture, postures and eye contact probably talk louder than your words. Body language cuts across all barriers of communication such as language, time, place, knowledge and so on. Your body language starts getting interpreted unconsciously by everyone around. People start forming impressions about you the moment you make an eye contact and body language certainly contributes a considerably large part of the impression you make.

A few facts you must know

You may have a sad expression on your face because of some other matter, but the person you are talking to may feel that you don’t approve what he says, leading to misunderstanding.

A steady gaze may convey intensity, anger, aggression or strong interest. Little eye contact may imply lack of confidence or shyness.

Open hands may convey honesty and openness; however, making a lot of hand gestures might mean that you are being nervous.

Confident communication, including words and gestures, is something that you do not perfect in a day. You must grab every opportunity to communicate. Try to check your communication skills, your strong points and the mistakes you make along with the overall affect on the other person. Try to learn from your experiences and there is no reason why you can’t make it. Get going. Good luck!

What is it that you need to do in order to be successful in your endeavor? One way to find out is to write a daily "To do list". This "To do list" will supplement your goal settings. It will simplify yours steps towards achieving your long term goal(s).

You can write your "To do list" while having breakfast or perhaps before going to bed the night before. TIP: Writing a list before you go to bed not only will appease your mind for a good night sleep but will also start your day with a purpose (this is the motivation part!)

Example: The goal I will be working on for the next 3 weeks (it is said that it takes that long to change a habit, good or bad!), will be to regularly organize my home office (always a problem!).

This is the list I would write the night before (keeping in mind my main goal)

· Pick up dry cleaning

· Renew house insurance

· Phone Jim re: B-day party

· Mail out monthly invoice

· Archive file folder starting with letter A to C (if my goal would have been to lose a few pounds, I might have written go for a 20 min. walk or jog etc.)

The more specific your daily list the greater you will achieve. Make it achievable not unreachable, thus the daily "To do list", to break down your goal into smaller steps. Keep it Simple yet Meaningful till you reach your goal.

Always prioritize.

To finalized my "To do list", I like to enumerate the task in priorities or by rationality. If I am going out I might as well do everything on my list that requires driving. And you guessed, the priority in this case, would be to archive my filing cabinet (this in any case would have to be done in order for this "To do list" to be successful). And if by the end of the day, you did not cross out everything on your list, don't beat yourself up! You might have wanted to do too many things in one day - Be flexible, adjust accordingly. Write it down for the following day until it's crossed out.

This useful technique will motivate you to stay focused on your goal. You will also feel like you have achieved a part of your goal, you will be thrilled and proud. Trust me.

Want more? Do you need a little motivation? Inspiration? A motivational quote will not only boost your energy but can also help you stay focused on your goals. Motivational quotes also have the power to rewrite negative thoughts. Motivational quote, tips, articles, recommendations, newsletter and more!

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“In truth, people can generally make time for what they choose to do; it is not really the time but the will that is lacking.”

-- Sir John Lubbock

High school student are one of the busiest people in the world. This people study, takes classes, join school activities, and socialize. They have a lot of work in school and at home.

Being organized is essential in high school students. If you are a high school student, it may seem like you never have enough time to finish all your work in a day. You may feel that you are always running out of time and all you do is study and never get enough time with your friends and family.

You often wish that there should be more time in one day to enable you to finish all your work with extra time to hang out with your family and friends and start again tomorrow.

However, everything you need to accomplish in one day is possible if you are organized and plan everything you do in a day.

Here are some tips for you to follow to make high school life easier and have extra time for you are your friends and family:

Set goals everyday – Before you sleep, list down all the things you want to accomplish on the next day. This will help you to know what you are going to do and avoid doing unimportant tasks. With a “to do” list, you will get everything done more efficiently and faster.

Prioritize your list of goals – After you made your “to do” list, try to prioritize the goals you want to achieve. Put your most important goal in life on top of your priority and your least important goals to down below on the list.

It is also important that you should be realistic on your list, try to base your list on what you need to achieve and not on what you want to achieve. If you have a long-term priority, it is probably best that you put it on the bottom of your list; you can always work on that tomorrow.

Use your spare time – You may not notice it but you have lots of spare time as a high school student. Try to add up the minutes of the school bus ride to school and the school bus ride back home.

You can use these times to study and do your homework. By doing this, you will get an idea on what you need to do on your homework when you get home. This allows you to finish your homework faster and have extra time for other things.

Working student – If you are a high school student and have a part time job, you can use your rest periods to do your homework or study. It is also ok to say no if your boss asks you to work on a school night and you have an important exam the next day. Tell him or her that you have to study for the exam.

Remember, work is not your number one priority as of now, it is only a part time job and the most important thing for a high school student is studying and passing the exams.

Finding the right time – Students have the “right time” to study. Students have specific time to study more efficiently. For example, you solved your math problems well on afternoons; do not wait until nighttime to it, then. When your mood shifts immediately start solving math problems as much as you can before you lose interest.

Taking notes – Writing down important notes is an effective way to study. It is much better than just plain reading. Writing down notes has an effect on your mind. You can understand the topic more effectively and memorize it more effectively than by just reading.

It is also important that you review your notes as your teacher might give a pop quiz on the next day. Reviewing your notes will help you be more prepared for the pop quizzes that your teacher may suddenly give.

Get enough sleep – Trying to stress yourself out studying when you are supposed to be sleeping can bring ineffective results and unwelcome health problems.

If you need to sleep you have to sleep, do not force yourself to study if you cannot effectively study. If you try to study in this situation, you will most likely waste your time.

Keep your goals realistic – Trying to accomplish unrealistic goals can often result in failure and frustration.

Set goals that is difficult but achievable. Setting realistic goals that is difficult and achieving it can give you self-worth and be proud on your achievements.

Are you so shy that you can’t even start a decent conversation with someone you like? Well, don’t worry. There are conversation starters for shy people that can really get people talking and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

After you read this article, I’m confident you’ll be able to teach other timid people a lesson or two on the art of conversation! You’ll be able to waltz into any event, bar, restaurant or situation for that given matter and get people talking. To discover some conversation starters for shy people, read on!

1) Things You Have In Common

What is the one thing that you and that other person sitting beside you have in common? Do you have common friends, or a shared interest in movies?

If you know what you two have in common, starting a conversation will be easy as pie. Are you all here for a charity event? Talk about the cause and the benefits the event will bring. If you have just met, talk about the place where you both are. Is the food good? Is the music great? These are all wonderful conversation starters for shy people.

2) Asking Other People About Themselves

Generally, a person likes to talk about himself or herself. So by asking questions like “Where did you go to school” or “What kind of movie do you like?” you are capturing their interest; and at the same time, you’re keeping yourself away from the center of attention.

Just make sure you listen to every word they say, because appearing distracted may offend the other party.

3) Newsmakers and Breakers

One of the great conversation starters for shy people is current news. What’s the current trend? What’s happening in the business world? Any new scientific discoveries? Talk about news that affect both of you and start from there.

One thing you should avoid raising in a conversation is anything that has to do with religion, politics, legal system, etc. These topics are usually very sensitive and you don’t really want to take a dip in that pool on your first meeting. Besides, talking about topics like these make arguments more likely to happen than not. You may feel strongly about a certain religion, and the other person may also have a strong yet opposite point of view regarding the issue. In these cases, it’s probably best to just stick with light topics that won’t get you into trouble.

Since we’re talking about news here, you’ll be less focused on how shy you are and more into the actual conversation. You might not even realize how many hours you have been talking about a particular issue.

These are just some of the possible conversation starters for shy people. Once you’ve tried some of them on actual experiences, you’ll feel more confident at exploring other topics of interest.

Are you so shy that you can’t even start a decent conversation with someone you like? Well, don’t worry. There are conversation starters for shy people that can really get people talking and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

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